Pairing: Sakumoto, guests appearances by the rest of Arashi (maybe with a surprise side-pairing ;-)), and some others
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance, maybe a bit suspense
Plot: It's in the middle of the night when Sho, a wealthy young business man, stumbles over an unconscious young man, beaten up and curled up in a dark alley. Tired from the way his life goes Sho decides to do something good and takes the man home. Once he wakes up however Sho realizes that the young man has forgotten all about his past, everything he is, and has lost his voice too. Everything that remained from his existence is his name: Matsumoto Jun. But who is he? What happened to him? Why was he lying on the street, beaten-up? And what kind of trauma did he encounter to loose his voice?
Note: This is the story that won the poll on my journal ^^ So, I had started writing it before the poll, kind of lost motivation in the middle of it and then with everyone's encouragement I picked it up again, and voilà :D I hope this is going to be really interesting for you! There is some suspense in it, and we'll gradually uncover Jun's past.
I’m a person that no one misses.
Jun flinches a bit when Sho looks at him in disbelief, he can clearly see the discomfort and the surprise in his eyes, like he doesn’t know what to say. “Jun-san,” he starts, sounding careful. “You don’t know that.”
Jun sighs slightly. I do.
Sho’s lips tug nervously. His hand reaches for Jun’s arm and Jun can feel how he squeezes him. It’s a nice feeling, reminding him of how he is still alive, and although he doesn’t know what happened and who he is, not even his age or what he did before, his job, it makes him relax a bit. Only momentarily though because the shadows hunting him are only too real. What the hell happened that he ended up in the corner of a street the way he did? Where did his bruises come from? Where were his possessions?
Who the fuck is he!? What kind of life did he lead. How…
“Stop it,” Sho says all of a sudden.
Jun blinks, opening his mouth to say something, but then he remembers he can’t. It’s so frustrating not to be able to voice something out directly, so nerve-wracking not to be able to react, so…
“I said, you should stop it.” Sho parks his car at the garage of his apartment and waits for Jun to get out of it. They go to the elevator together, while Jun scribbles something into his notebook.
What do you mean?
Sho smiles soothingly. “You are overthinking it. I understand that you feel scared and nervous, and desperate. But the more you pressure yourself, the worse it will get. I’ll help you find out what you want to find out, and Nino will too, just like Nagase-san. I know it’s difficult to trust someone, when you don’t even trust yourself, but at least give yourself and this situation a tiny chance.”
What is he supposed to say to that? Of course Sho is right, but it’s easier said than done. How can he switch off his mind from the obvious?
“It’s easier to find your identity with a clear head,” Sho continues his lecture. “You should stop freaking out and calm down instead. Do you think it’s going to be effective for your search of who you are when you are making yourself go crazy?”
Jun frowns, pondering for a while, before showing Sho his scribbled answer. Are you working as a teacher? Your lectures are really something.
Sho laughs. “I’ve originally worked as a tax accountant. Then built up a business on my own.”
Taxes? So boring. Unbelievable.
Sho’s laugh gets even louder. “You think it’s boring, aren’t you?”
How do you know?
With a ringing sound the elevator opens and they step directly into Sho’s huge apartment. Sho pokes his arm. “Even though you can’t talk, your face gives it away.” He grins surprisingly dorky, and Jun is surprised he can make such a face. He looks so earnest most of the time. “I like everything about economics and taxes, and numbers. But don’t worry, my business is a publishing one.”
Jun tries to make a serious expression while he listens, like he understands, but Sho continues to giggle, and he knows he fails at it. He can’t help but show Sho a little smile himself.
Sho winks slightly. “Who knew your smile is that beautiful?” He closes the door of the elevator with a code, before he leads Jun to the kitchen. He takes some ingredients out of the fridge. Carrots, onions, radish. Meanwhile he starts boiling water, and-
Jun stops him before he can put the noodles into the boiling water.
Sho blinks. “Is there a problem?”
There is no time to write it down, so Jun just shakes his head and shoves Sho to the side. He grabs the ramen noodles from him and puts them to the side. Too early for them. He angles for some herbs from the cupboard and starts mixing them together, adding them to the water to actually make a soup out of it, puts some vegetables into it to cook them with the soup and add some flavour to it. Then he snips the rest of the vegetables, fast and into perfectly shaped pieces so that they would be able to eat them with their chopsticks.
He is so occupied by his task that he doesn’t realize first that Sho isn’t saying or doing anything. Only when he finished the vegetables and the soup and is about to add the noodles, he turns around to look at Sho. Seeing the surprised expression in his eyes, Jun pulls his eyebrows up.
“You can cook?” Sho says silently, before he looks at Jun with a smile. “You can cook!”
Jun stares at the perfectly shaped and snipped vegetables in sincere shock. What the hell? Did he really do that? Something behind his eyelids burns, he closes them for a moment, feeling how his eyes tear up slightly.
“See?” Sho says softly. “I told you, the moment you stop overanalysing everything, some things will come back to you naturally.”
That’s good, Jun thinks, not only because he has finally a tiny little piece of his personality back but because he can actually give something back to Sho for keeping him here until the police found out what happened to him. He can’t pay Sho after all or do something else for him, so he has to refrain to cooking.
While the dinner gets ready, he shoves his notebook towards Sho. Do you have cooking books?
Sho grins. “Plenty. I bought tons of them to improve my cooking. I thought when I can learn everything about taxes, I can also learn everything about cooking. But I can’t even make popcorn in the microwave. So I stuck to takeaway food most of the time.”
Jun frowns, his stomach twisting in horror. Unhealthy! He scribbles down. You can’t live of fast-food, or you will get sick! That’s irresponsible. Give me the books, and I’ll cook from now on.
“Irresponsible.” Sho recited and chuckles. “And you just said my lectures were good. I don’t expect you to cook though, you are not my maid, I want you to know that.”
I want to do something. I can’t stay here without helping you!
Sho looks at him thoughtfully for a while, like he is searching for something in his eyes, then he nods and smiles. “Fine, thank you.”
Jun has settled in. As much as he is able to settle in right now, with the situation he is going through at the moment. Every day he stands up at the same time like Sho, not trying to think about who he is and why he is here. He makes breakfast, while Sho is in the bathroom, sets the table, puts some flowers on it sometimes, flowers he finds when he goes for a walk here and there, and he prepares Sho’s bento box. Surprisingly… he loves cooking. His fingers are moving skilfully when he is cutting vegetables, he is able to cook various things at once, his hands moving on their own. It sets his mind at peace actually and makes him switch of his bothering thoughts.
“Don’t overwork yourself.” Sho tells him, while he is fixing his tie. “No need to cook for me daily.”
Jun smiles and chuckles soundlessly. He winks towards Sho in what he hopes would be a casual gesture. Sho is so nice towards him, and Jun doesn’t want him to see all his fears and know that he is hardly sleeping at night. He shouldn’t worry Sho. Sometimes when he closes his eyes, he sees pictures, but it’s only snippets of something he isn’t sure is part of him or just a dream. When he opens his eyes, he can’t remember anymore what he actually saw in his dreams. It drives him nuts. So much that he is almost afraid to go to sleep again at nights.
“I’m taking you to the hospital for your check up,” Sho tells him when he accepts the bento-box prepared for him with a grateful smile. “Then you’ll meet with the police. Shun-san is your private investigator, you know him already.”
Jun nods almost instinctively. Yes, he knows Shun-san, he even likes him somehow, as much as you can like a policeman. The hospital however is still his biggest fear, he doesn’t know why, but whenever he steps into this white building, smells this specific sterile smell, something inside him clenches painfully. Like it’s reminding him of something, but he doesn’t know what. He just knows he hates it. He hates hospitals.
“Don’t give up hope,” Sho tells him casually, apparently sensing Jun’s discomfort. When Jun looks away to not make Sho see the wary glance in his eyes because he is sure he can’t hide it, Sho touches his arm. It’s an affectionate touch, like he wants to stop him from pondering too much, like he wants him to calm down.
Something inside Jun twitches all of a sudden, glimpses of pictures passing in front of his eyes. He is sure he can feel another person’s hand against his, a warm breath close to him. He isn’t sure if the hand is holding his gently or clenching it painfully. He sees a sign on the wall right behind him, a word written on it in golden capital letters…
“Jun-san?” Sho’s voice seems to come from far away, like he is only a dream.
Jun flinches at the feeling that suddenly swells up inside him, not sure why it makes him feel so horrible. Something inside his head hammers against his temples like crazy, like he is short for breath. He gasps a bit for air, wants to say something and call for a glass of water, but he can’t. No voice escapes his lips.
A/N: this is a shorter chapter this time, because I didn't have much time this week. But I hope you'll enjoy it. We'll soon get more pieces about about Jun :-)
Also Aiba and the others will soon appear again with bigger roles. And we'll soon have another surprise guest :-)
Sho already feels really protective of Jun, but we'll need some time until true feelings appear ^^